SHADOWSHINING

The Early Notebookbefore 2014 · 40 poems

Poems from the past — a notebook kept before the page existed, posted in one long breath the day Shadowshining began.

• All I Want Is You♪ Dm Am C Am
• Regret IEvery moment sitting here,
• Failed LoveAdoration arouses desire —
• Love RenewedWhere is love, lost within itself,
• Perfect PurposeSince the beginning of time recorded,
• Experimental EstheticsIt’s a sound full of fury, though it encompasses a glory full foreseen — an act in consequence, a trial that breeds an endless contempt. Full force it strives, through the aiding of our lives; I requisition excellence, a thought for breeding wellness. For with anger there’s no languor when your thoughts are constant, held. There’s this person in my mind; I feel it flow so freely — the actuality of my dreaming, in reality transposed. If words lighted through a fool’s gaze in everyday extenuation, citizens would flee for lack of order in a mind of unforeseen circumstances. Overthought can cause an explosion of what is deemed irrelevant thinking, which in time can question all — the sickly feeling in the fall — though so long lost in forced charades it doesn’t even register, but as accolades.
• LiberalismEncircling, envisioning, entailing eccentricities,
• UnraveledSitting so somberly, seated in misery,
• Extreme PainFlowing freely as a river
• DepressionWhat’s it like to feel alone,
• A Happy LieHappiness makes no sense —
• Within EntiretyInfinite,
• The Ninth CipherDestroy the epidemic;
• LiveLife is an action,
• Elated DiscoveryI walked the world looking, searching;
• IceySnow so white in winter blows,
• DreamI once had a thought in a dream —
• Regret IIIt activates my deep regret
• QuestionHow can I breathe to you,
• TimeWhere is time? It ran away.
• Wrong DoneI hate you more than anything —
• Sleepy EyesSleepy eyes with heavy sighs,
• Focus Says the VoiceFocus, says the voice inside —
• Molten WrathKill them all, watch them fall,
• The MurderOde to double-bladed razors,
• BloodRed and blue outside, inside,
• IDKBreathing in the scent awake,
• The Riddle of LifeEthan’s Riddle:
• Hollow Honey Rocks♪Hollow honey rocks on top —
• Fire in the SkyThere in the sky, that fateful day,
• Misery Not HateHate is only relative,
• HeartYou sat there in tears with your heart on the ground;
• Christmas TimeSummer slows as Fall draws near,
• Reflected SadnessThe sadness of a lost someone
• The Light on AmbitionGaze at the light —
• Song of Sedition♪(Verse 1)
• Eternal PerspectiveBlackened and burned in a deepened pit, put softly in a hardened split;
• ACT song♪ACT, I hate thee strongly;
• NihilismNihilistic poses are like deadened, burning roses — just like slow, sadistic crows will chew and peck what He opposes. Now I look at all your noses, elevated, I suppose; you never chose to find out just where all your tiny little toes were. So your morals decomposed with all the actions we exposed; I guess it’s never been proposed to you to never presuppose. It’s true there’s nothing you oppose, yet everything you think’s enclosed — to beliefs that you have froze and thoughts that never juxtapose — because the seat of all you know was never really known.
• The Reason YouThey say that eyes are the window into the soul;

The Shadowshine Years2014 – 2015 · 31 poems

The page finds its name. Some of these were written at home, some while mobilized abroad; most were later revised for AllPoetry.

• Worthless WorldsBlack soul, immortal folds of latched right insight wrongly sold —2014
• Together StrongImagine us in cool perfection,2014
• The Memory TreeI never wanted it to be —2014
• Step in EmpathyIn the world we write our lives to insanities,2014
• SCHMOLITICSHas it ever bled? Or dreaded the thought of becoming a dead end?2014
• My VitalityIt’s like our bodies separated from our minds as one.2014
• Militarism in CohesionThey want me to run and they don’t want me to sleep — breathing heavy every day, being led like sheep. I must dream inside my dreams, because the seams of my realities are fading with uncertainty, because of what I cannot see. So bring me back to a time before I lacked — not in want or in desire; it’s in these that I require the will to will myself to want to want to have emotion in the blunted, fronted notions that will lie, in essence, to themselves. There is never any conscience in the words that we speak, and yet we wonder why the world burns and looks so bleak. Maybe if we tried to try — by purposing within our minds to mind ourselves before we think and break the will of all the others we refer to as our brothers — things would be realities, and not just pointless words that whistle in the breeze. So I’ll be the brother of your prophecy and see what you want to see; I’ll know what you don’t want to know and teach you what you wouldn’t show. And if I’m generous, I’ll let you in on this sensual state of bliss, where I live life through a scene in an exotic machine. I’m from a new style and a hard touch of the wild, and I ride on excellence, unaccepting penitence — and nothing else would make sense but me slashing out your hopeless sense.2014
• Love is my CaptiveLove is my captive, and she locks me in her cage.2014
• I.T.YBrutality in my own reality is the great vitality of my own mentality.2014
• DiamondDiamonds shine as bright as her,2014
• Dark CountryIt’s deadly — a superficial medley2014
• Dark AmbitionI’m feeling strange — like I’m inwardly deranged,2014
• A Little HourglassLife is like an hourglass that’s drifting in the sea,2014
• Stalked in Realms✦Sleep is cruel2014
• Peace and War: the CycleWhy can’t we all just lay down all our arms?2014
• To Kill You in My ThoughtsIf I could kill you in my thoughts, my mind would run as red as Cain’s;2014
• The Essence of LifeWhen life seems like a shimmer fading, falling all around —2014
• Creator of LightBrought back to brighten the biggest sphere,2014
• Subtlety's WarningForewarned with subtle, wistful gazes —2014
• Shadowshine✦Can darkness be a form of light —2014
• Silent SerenityI drifted down the cool blue current,2014
• The NineAt night, the call to unconscious crawling,2014
• Ever Searching in the MirrorEver since the birth of time and record,2014
• Red ShiftAnd the red sky drifts2015
• Shadowed HypocrisyI stalk the sight of a righteous plight,2015
• Inspired LifeBeautiful thoughts make worlds new;2015
• Perversion of LightA man kills a helpless child2015
• Tower of SilenceBreak the gaze on wounded knee;2015
• The Forest DiseaseSickened subconscious,2015
• Wade in Gold BloodFor something crazy to find,2015
• Stupid DisillusionDoes anyone ever think to the stupid, and so much that it creates a sense of never sure whenever never seems to come too fast? It's like as if I am but not since before have I even ever. The fact that facets because reason isn't is why I say to seem believable if only since the day is here relaying daily deceptive creations. Goodnight.2015

Machines & Mirrors2016 – 2018 · 7 poems

Consciousness, reality, and the deep machine — the poems turn cosmic, and the photographs begin to carry words of their own.

• Reality, Meet Inertia✦Vibrations rip apart the world;2016
• D eep M achine T houghtsA solid light casts into night,2017
• Circle of LightBlindingly jarring, the sharp summer swelter2017
• Seeds of Memory: From DeathEndless summers, central heat —2017
• And A Million MoreA billion minds buzz low in sequence,2018
• TreatiseBreathe.2018
• Ersatz Machinations✦Tendons rage against the output;2018

The Forest & the Chair2019 – 2021 · 8 poems

Villanelles, spiteful trees, an emptiness that watches from the seat of all.

• Innocence Lost✦Children weep inside the void,2019
• A Tree Through the Forest✦Man stands inside a sea of abyssal trees,2019
• SeparateA stare reflects the self,2019
• Apoclyte✦As darkness swallows whole the day,2019
• Elemental✦Two eyes drink fire in flight;2019
• Fly AmanitaFly, fly, amanita,2019
• The Chair✦An emptiness watches from the seat of All. It stares across a violent oblivion into a cacophony of obtuse insanity. Penetrating points of light reach out and strike monotonous hums of brutal indifference, fed from a matrix of drones somewhere beyond.2020
• Bridge WallThere sits a bridge higher than high,2021

Returnings2023 – 2026 · 5 poems

After a long quiet: layered veils, gardens read backwards, and an old wound reopened one more time.

• Tri-Fold VeilsIn realms unseen, where mysteries reside,2023
• ABCs to Worker BeesA-ching ambition, a relentless drive,2023
• The Garden of Perspective(read me backwards)2024
• Murdered MindIf thoughts could kill, a mind would run as red as Cain,2025
• RemanenceThe door stood open wide enough for a crossing.2026